In 2018 I landed a Global campaign with Aveda, the “Know What We’re Made Of” campaign spoke to brands values and significant heritage, their willingness to champion authenticity and Do over Say attitude! 

‍I remember vividly the ‘go-see’ I attended for this campaign. I stepped off the elevator, headed down the narrow New York City casting agency hallway, squeezing past a crowd of incredibly diverse beautiful humans and added my name to the casting wait list. There would be enough time before my chance in front of the casting director to either kill my confidence or hype myself up. I don’t remember how long I waited, but remember well the feeling I had when it finally came my turn in the casting room. Tall glass windows lined a far wall, a long narrow table was positioned in front where the casting team sat, including: VP of Global Marketing, and several key members of Aveda’s Global Artistic Team. The Manhattan skyline blazed in a radiant glow above their heads as the golden hour sun settled its magical light over the city. I was stunned to discover how fully present I felt in the moment. Where was the anxiety that had always reared its ugly head whenever I needed to be at my best? I was ready, confident, showing up authentically as myself. There was no reason to be intimidated, I belonged, in fact I was a perfect match. I was the face of Aveda’s newest campaign, I was the Artist: Mentor, Defiant, Balanced!

I share this story because it illustrates how magical life becomes when we show up as ourselves. Sounds simple right? We just have to believe we are enough, we have to “know what we’re made of!” But how many of us live life completely unsure of our worth, plagued by anxiety, by our fears, of the present, the future and possibly stuck in the past. The truth is we can heal ourselves. We can learn new ways to respond to life’s challenges, we can successfully re-pattern the brain, reboot our hearts and thrive not just survive! 

How can I be so sure, what makes me so confident? Because I have lived it. Growing up I experienced intense ongoing family trauma. I loved my parents, they adopted me, my older sister and brother at birth, this was my family and all I knew, but I learned early on we live on a polarity planet. Our home was filled with love and anger. My parents were ill-equipped to manage the needs of my brothers mental illness, fear and chaos were constant. My father was from an era of “children were seen and not heard” and a cultural upbringing that taught him corporal punishment as an acceptable disciplinary tool to produce strong men. 

I grew up in a constant state of fight or flight, I experienced depression, anxiety and harmful patterns by my teens. My need to have some semblance of control over my reality manifested in the first few years of my 20’s dominated by an eating disorder. Compulsively measuring my waist, my thighs, my calves. Was I lovable? Running 5 miles a day fueled on a large Dunkin’, the main source of my daily caloric intake. I picked up work as a bartender, medicating with alcohol was a normalized nightclub culture, the perfect cocktail (pun intended) to my self destructive behaviors. Behind the bar I could easily hide from my pain, there was no time to stand still, to think. The constant crowd of people, gave the illusion I was not not alone. The truth was I was totally and completely on my own, I had always been. The loud music, reverberated a sweet lullaby in my head long after the late work nights ended and kept all my monsters at bay, until it didn’t. 

Fortunately at twenty-three I discovered Louise Hay’s book, “Heal Your Body” which led me on a new path, and to teachers such as, Marianne Williamson and to “A Course in Miracles.” My deep dive into mediation, self awareness, and wellness, on all levels: physical, mental, spiritual began. I discovered food as medicine not the control mechanism it had been. I discovered exercise as a source to mind-body connection, not the addiction that had ruled me. I was free from my own personal hell, but in the decades that followed, my 30’s and 40’s is where the real work would be done, through mediation and movement. As the saying goes, “our issues are in our tissues,” our own, as well the wounds of the collective consciousness. The good news is we are all powerful healers, able to heal ourselves and one another.

‍My desire is to transmit, to share with others what I have learned through my own healing, through my own story I hope to inspire others to take the leap within and discover what they are made of!